i've moved her blog. if you want to know the URL leave a message in the comment box with your email. of course, whether she replies or not, is her own discretion.
- vëra =?

major things to spend on:

1> a new backpack w/c can accommodate my earth pad and a tent (Deuter sells this air-cool one for P3.2k)

2> a tent, even if it's only good for one since i'd be the one carrying it

3> a digital camera worth some php 18k

4> a sleeping bag (P1k ?)

5> a pair of thermal underwear

6> a trip to Baguio w/ Libet (P2k)

7> a trip to Boracay w/ Grace (P10k)

8> running shoes (P2k)

9> PC upgrade (P10k)

hmm..... things keep coming back to mountaineering needs.... this is bad...

methinks i really need that promotion... wish me luck, guys :)

Dreamt of the movie CHICAGO all night... and woke up to the words to the song Mr. Cellophane....

coz you could see right through me
walk right by me...

Sigh.... i'm dang lonely.

*~*

Spent the whole afternoon yesterday talking to one of my dearest, closest friends... I missed her terribly... and feel for her terribly... and I am scared that, with my own similar selfishness and unyielding nature, with my staunch resistance to really growing up... I might end up sadder than she is right now...

*~*

Love has always come easy for me, it seems. Again, my problem has always been... being attached to someone... and being part of a relationship (whether official or not).

And again, i'm tired of living lies and being unfair... and again, I am guilty of having hurt a lot of people just because I couldn't stay the way i'm supposed to be...

Single... singular... whatever...

I miss my Dad... but of course, I didn't go to him to Lipa today to greet him personally for being one of the best fathers a daughter can have... Bad daughter...

But I really thank God that my father loved my Mom....

By the way.... can't remember when it was that I finally got to watch some parts of a Sex and the City episode... this blonde girl wasn't being happy-fied by her man because his pecker was small... or so she told their therapist...

The guy shot back.... that hasn't the girl ever thought her vagina to be too big... instead.... ahihihihi

Oh well... this reminds me again of a woman's limitations in gripping peckers...

FIFTH INSTALLATION OF KINKY, HORNY, NAUGHTY TEXT MESSAGES


i can give you hell, and i can give you heaven...and either way, i will be GOOD

after meeting you tonight, i realized that my breasts belong in your mouth

if you didn't believe in PARADISE, i swear i can still take you there

"i'd really love to make you jealous next time we meet, so that you'd possess me and mark me..next time we mate..."

"don't you just miss heaven between my legs?"

"another week of pining for you.......hoping this time....in my bed, i'd find you..."

"ala akong magawa.......lika dito....paligayahin moko"

"thank you for worshipping my body..."

"let's play again tomorrow"

"i've never met a man who didn't want me......YOU WILL BE NO EXCEPTION....just give me time......"

"i want to spend the next days just lovemaking with you...."

"i want all of you, your body, your soul.....i want you to lose all control..."

honey, malamig ang panahon....panggigilan mo naman ako pls?

it's the way you make love to me, it's the feelings I feel.....it's the force of your impact...it's the passion of your lips.....

Two of my female chatmates.... are currently in love and being played with... by err.. taken men...

And I don't know why this should unduly sadden me so...

And it's not that I cannot get or understand or comprehend or make room for the possibility that these women can love taken men... because that, I get...

What I cannot get is how these women do not or cannot love themselves enough to respect themselves and leave these guys who, for all intents and purposes, are just looking for entertainment, diversion, quick lays, etc (why else would they have remained with the original girlfriend or the wife anyway)

IF YOU'RE SEEING AN IMAGE OF AN ANUS... please don't think I was trying to be grossly cute... I didn't post it... please... believe me, I don't entertain that way...

How does one tell a man... that the reason a woman cannot and should not... believe his declaration of love for her.... is because it's equally devastating and traumatic for her to be deeply and irrevocably loved by a man who is married to someone else.

Imagine... being told that nobody would love you the same way... or that his love is forever... and knowing he's not anymore a candidate for spending an entire lifetime with...

Imagine... how, if you give in to the words and bank on the promised love, he can, just as easily... love someone else (aside from you and his wife) as deeply... and how he can long for someone else with an aching so strong... when he's in your arms...

Almost lost a jacket back in Boracay.... something more precious to me than the entire trip.

*~*

I feel so emaciated and starved... must be due to the entire week I wasn't enjoying the food at Pearl. Partly it's due to the really atrocious food they come up with there.... partly because I wasn't in the company of loved ones and friends.

*~*

Eventhough I did not enjoy the place as much... I am missing Boracay for the same reason I missed it some 2 years ago (first time I went there). I just loved being half-naked half the time. I even risked parading around in just this strip of cloth covering my boobs... and a sarong wrapped precariously low on my hips (in the guise of drying my henna tattoo). By golly, the place really appeals to my exhibitionistic tendencies.... And I dunno, must be because we were half-starved in the resort we were staying in... but I swear I looked slim and sexy the whole time there.... sigh..

And talk about sunkissed..... (oh wait, I was never under the sun really... hmm.. but then, why the glow... hmmm)

*~*

I really hope I can get to save some Php 10k and bring my sister there... she's been hankering for a plane ride anyway... or, we can take the Nautical Highway going there. Ahihihihi...

*~*

Speaking of sisters... mine would start college tomorrow... and again, I feel like such a mother! Anyway, I just hope she enjoys it as much as I did... and that it would propel her to real and more realistic dreams.

Ahhhh.... alas, in our walk back to the really atrocious hotel called Pearl of the Pacific (seriously guys, service was awful... and the food was soooo horrible... imagine being served menudong taba and sinigang na taba.... ever!!!) where we are holding our workshop... we chanced upon this netcafe and well... here i am to report that i am wearing this really skimpy outfit i bought here... and nothing else....

well... a really cute smile din pala.... ahehehehehehe

and tomorrow promises a really fun time for me...

w/c is good... for Boracay, w/o friends and loved ones.... can be the loneliest place on earth...

unless of course, you don't mind cheapening yourself by err.... engaging in other activities...

(besides, cute guys to flirt with are almost extinct here at this time of the month)

I am off to Boracay tonight guys.... pray for some sun ok? and pray I can get a real sexy henna tattoo

*~*

I just realized in a real funny but somehow ego-unflattering way... that I am not as HOT as I used to be.... or that even I can be rejected... or unwanted... or uh, set aside....

*~*

My ex (4th) was texting me all night last night, keeping me updated and reporting that he was taking care and attending to... my sister... who was in the same party/gathering as he was.... weird...

*~*

Realized that masturbation has always been...and always will be.. more psychic than physical.. for me