Our officemate had a stroke Monday. Now he's very critical and in ICU. And the family that has let his health deteriorate is now pestering our office for money. Which is, in a way, understandable since they're not really well-off. But the fact that my officemate's grown-up kids did not take it upon themselves to look for jobs and help financially before... just really leaves a bad taste in our mouth. And it's so sad that during such times, you get to know who really cares and hopes and fights with you... and who has already given up on you.

And I fear, if I would be stricken with a deadly and expensive disease, I might just opt to leave my family and die alone. Better that than run my family to the dust with poverty... or see the silent wish in their faces to be rid of me.

*~*~*

Speaking of disasters, I don't know what to do right now. I just heard that my favorite aunt and who I consider my second mom... has been taken to hospital. They say it's leukemia. Her kids (one of which is living with us) don't know it yet. How can we break the news to them? I'm worried on who'd take care of my Tita Acela... and of course, the expense. I worry how to tell the kids.. my cousins, the youngest of whom is only 8 years old... I worry because she's in General Santos City and her family is all here in Luzon. I worry because I don't have all the information yet. I worry because I love her.

And i'm angry that she refused to have herself checked time and again. I'm angry that she's such a good person who doesn't even know how to get angry which might have resulted to the cancer. I'm angry because i'm not in a position to hold her now...

And I don't know who to call to cry to...

And i'm due for a Banahaw climb tonight and i'm wondering if I should still go...

And i'm wondering... is this why i've been lonely the whole week?